Prayers and Dreams Answered

I became disabled slowly, beginning right around the start of 2000, and I entered a pain management rehab program about two years later.  In addition to things like mobility class (how to do wheelies and get the wheelchair up or down a curb) and lessons on alternating the canes just as we would swing our hands with alternate steps, there were mental health aspects to the program, including weekly meetings with a psychologist and an excellent art therapy program.

When I started in the art therapy program, most of my artwork was directly related to pain and disability, but eventually I also started to incorporate other themes, and my art became a visual representation of my dreams and prayers.

Tonight's Storm

Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, King of the Universe, Whose strength and might fills the world



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Psalms Chapter 97 תְּהִלִּים

 א יְהוָה מָלָךְ, תָּגֵל הָאָרֶץ; יִשְׂמְחוּ, אִיִּים רַבִּים. 1 The LORD reigneth; let the earth rejoice; let the multitude of isles be glad.
 ב עָנָן וַעֲרָפֶל סְבִיבָיו; צֶדֶק וּמִשְׁפָּט, מְכוֹן כִּסְאוֹ. 2 Clouds and darkness are round about Him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.
 ג אֵשׁ, לְפָנָיו תֵּלֵךְ; וּתְלַהֵט סָבִיב צָרָיו. 3 A fire goeth before Him, and burneth up His adversaries round about.
 ד הֵאִירוּ בְרָקָיו תֵּבֵל; רָאֲתָה וַתָּחֵל הָאָרֶץ. 4 His lightnings lighted up the world; the earth saw, and trembled.

This pic from my friend @Baconater:

A Jewish Girl reflects on her Adoption and on the children of Torah

This D’Var Torah was written by a 14 yr old Jewish girl, adopted into a Jewish family after three years in foster care.  The adoption was finalized last week, the morning before Rosh Hashanah.  The newly adopted girl went to mikvah, changed her Hebrew name to match her new mother’s and gave this D’Var Torah to her Jewish Community.

For purposes of publication, the location has been removed, the names have been changed, but the love remains intact from the first draft to the final..

My First Dvar Torah of My New Life

Tonight and tomorrow we will read prayers that talk about God as our Father.  Avinu Malkeinu.  God is my king and my father, but today I have a new mother and a new brother.  Becca is too old to be adopted in a courtroom, but she and I both consider Deborah our mom.  We even invented a new word.  Imanu Debreinu.  Our ima, our Debbie.  A real parent right here on Earth.

The Torah readings for Rosh Hashanah are all about parents and kids. Even the haftarah talks about a mom who wants a child, and about how someone else makes fun of her because she doesn’t have one yet. Her name is Hannah, and she eventually gets a son, but she can only raise him the first few years.   God doesn’t zap the woman who was teasing her about being childless, and maybe that is OK. 

Having kids is important, but so is treating them right.  In Torah, people are always wanting sons, but Debbie is happy to have us as daughters, and that may be even better.  

        Back to Torah.  Sarah wants a son, but she doesn’t think she will have one.  Abraham has to choose between his first family (Hagar and Ishmael) and his second family (Sarah and Isaac), and ends up making his first family leave with only a bottle of water and some food. In my opinion this is not good parenting. I think that God told Abraham to listen to Sarah and send Hagar and Ishmael away, but God should have also made him send them with enough food and water for a whole journey.  Abraham is always sending his servents and camels to do errands and keep people company. He had extra people to help with the akeida story. With Ishmael, should have sent someone to see that his oldest son got safely somewhere else.  Maybe he should have even gone himself, get them settled, and then go back to Sarah and Isaac.  He should have been a dad to both of them.

Reflections on Rosh Hashanah - Firsts and Lasts

My son is 17 and a senior in HS, and this is most probably his last Rosh Hashanah living at home.  Many years it has just been the two of us, and usually I try to see if friends will invite us for holiday meals, especially if I am working the day before a holiday begins, but this year I decided to cook a feast for us on Wednesday evening and enjoy our last Rosh Hashanah as a family.  Yes, there are others in the family this year (a completely different and wonderful story that I may post next week), but this is HIS last year living at home.  I think.  Seems like many adults move back home after college or early in their careers, but I am anticipating each holiday this year as being his last at home.

Some recollections:

My son was a very sick baby and was not allowed to eat raw honey until age 6 or 7 because his intestines were a wreck.  (So were his lungs and his heart.)  So we started a family tradition of dipping our apple slices into chocolate sauce for a sweet new year.

He was 18 months old the first time he ate a brownie, at a Rosh Hashanah meal with me, his dad, both sets of grandparents, a few aunts and uncles, and two cousins.  After the first bite of brownie, he exclaimed "Mowa Cake!"  His first two word phrase, and a great occasion for it.

Two years later, when he was 3½, my son said motzi for us all at our Rosh Hashanah dinner.  Almost as proud moment as hearing him say "More Cake!"

At six he wanted me to make him a kittel just Daddy's.  I said no but let him buy a white tie and white pants to go with his white shirt.

At nine, he mastered the notes of the shofar.

At age 13, he chanted the 5th aliyah from the Torah using the high holiday melody.  On the same day, He saw me cry for the first time in public on the second day of Rosh Hashanah.  A difficult story, for another day.

Last year, after he became vegetarian, I brought him to a friend's house for Rosh Hashanah dinner, and made a vegan casserole as part of our contribution to the potluck meal.  My friend served chicken, turkey meatballs, and beef, and we passed the dishes around the table.  As he held the tray the family grandmother to serve herself meat, I remember saying a silent plea, "Please, just don't say anything about dead animals. Please just let her take the food without you commenting."  And he did.  A sign of great maturity.  At home, I would have gotten a lecture on the benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle.

This year, my son and his girlfriend are both vegan, and I am preparing a vegan family feast to rival no other. I anticipate that we will also have other things to celebrate on Wenesday, but for now I am content to still have my son at home, even if we are back to dipping our apples in chocolate sauce instead of honey.

May you all have a very sweet new year!


שנה טובה